Earlier this week, i pledged to Anita to be happy, always. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Well, let me tell you how i've been acting, you see, at home, i'm very different to what i am at school. The other afternoon, I just sat on my beanbag in my room, listening to music and eating jelly babies, thinking deeply about .. NOTHING AT ALL. I ate half a packet, which i knew i couldnt handle, 'cos i had Canberra the day before, and i ate waaay too much sugar on that day, but i ate anyway. Now i have a very sore throat, and i ate pretzels today, what a big fat stupid asshole. And, for this whole week, i've been sleeping early and waking up late. Going to bed at 10pm and falling asleep within 10 minutes, and not waking up until i'm woken up by force at 7.30am. I wouldnt have even bothered if my mum hadnt dragged me out this morning.. what the hell is wrong with me?

I dont know what brought this upon me, i really dont. It's just, i've lost all inspiration for anything. I dont want to try anymore, i know its the end of year and shit, but i am not doing anything anymore. Is this because i was talking about having a dead set best friend with richard the other day, and sadly realising i dont have a best friend?

Maybe it's 'cos reality finally caught up with my fantasy. Finally, couldnt you have caught on faster? And Renee has a theory that everybody is depressed 'cos no-one has anyone to "love" .. that cant possibly be true, can it? And recently i've been snapping alot, and i regret it after a few minutes, but i dont ever express that regret, which may lead people to assume bad things about me, but like, i cant help it. Adolescence sucks your mums balllls bitch. and yet, this year has passed. just like that. bahhhhh. here i go again, rambling about nothing, i'll just spare you

If you feel the same, join the club, members include me and raymond giang. whooooo. (not)